Lead

Heavy, weighed down

Walking through air that seems like jell-o

The din of thoughts engulfs me...like a flock of cackling crows

Circling constantly overhead...

Except that I would have welcomed the sound.

Actions seem suspended

Words seem distant, dark, there but not really.

Attempted conversations from faceless people

Break against lead with the futility of waves...

Am I the shore reeling under the tide of feeling?

Or am I just driftwood trying to find a shore...

The future would be so bright if not for these colored glasses...

Today would be the sun, if only the night of yesterday would end.

Right now I should be walking barefoot in the Garden of Eden...

then why do I remember each stalk of grass broken, bug squashed or dew drop destroyed?

Right now I should be absolved...angels should lift me to ether,

as I look down in victory at the destruction below me.

Then, why O Lord - have you forged my wings with lead?

Why O Lord have you forged my wings with lead?