Of men and rats - Ratatouille

OK...I have a confession to make. I used to hate rats...and went to extremes making sure I didn't have rodents as my extended family. I found furry little creatures scurrying around the house quite disconcerting - and seeing them in the kitchen usually called for decimating all food that could have been touched by rats. I had even invested in mouse-traps - but I should have taken the hint from Tom & Jerry... these traps are meant for catching cat-tails.

I used to hate rats - until I saw the latest from the geniuses at Pixar-Disney. (it should be the other way round - but I think the geniuses are at Pixar, not Disney) Ratatouille - pronounced Raa-ta-too-ee - is cinema at its best - even without putting it into the category of Animated movies! Brad Bird - considered by many to be the Kubrik of animation and received an Oscar for "The Incredibles" last year - has bettered his previous directorial performance by creating a movie that is hilarious, intelligent, insightful, motivating, exciting, a gastronmic delight and a leisurely Parisian stroll on the banks of the Seine...all at one go. Pixar has repeatedly created experiences for lovers of cinema by juxtaposing fantasy and reality to create situations and plots which - though seemingly ridiculous - are brought to brilliant life through technical virtuosity, tight screenplays, Oscar winning vocal performances and great storytelling. Ratatouille is the latest feather in their cap. (That cap must be running out of space!) Their movies are not for children...but children can watch and enjoy them too!

Remy - the chief protagonist (and rat) of the story - is a different kind of rat. He doesn't want to steal food for a living - he wants to cook. He knows that he has culinary talents far greater than most humans...forget rats. Ratatouille is the story of how an ordinary sewer Rat creates savory magic in the one place where he is not supposed to be: the kitchen of one of Paris' leading restaurants - Gusteau (named after Remy's "guru"). Together with his human friend - as a voluntary puppet (how he controls Linguini's movements by hiding in the chef's hat and pulling hairstrings is ingenius!) he lifts up the sagging fortunes of the restaurant - much to the chagrin of Skinner (voiced by the brilliant Ian "Bilbo Baggins" Holm) the current sous-chef (head chef). Linguini becomes an overnight celebrity - and as the reader can imagine ego problems ensue. I won't give the plot away much...but suffice it to say - Ratatouille is a story of the meek inheriting the kitchen... and of the belief that "Everyone cannot be a great artist - but a great artist can be anyone!" In this case a Rat.

The animation is what we can now call "Pixar - standard". Flawless to the untrained eye. The vocal performances are brilliant - especially Peter O'Toole as Anton Ego - the critic who brought Gusteau's downfall - and the critic who eventually recognizes the brilliance of Remy the rat. Ratatouille stays with you long after the credits roll...and makes you want to dump junk food forever! :) It leaves you feeling hopeful in the heart and light in the head...like good wine. And the movie should be enjoyed like one.

This is a Rs.700 for me. Though I doubt I will be able to afford it then...and that's what makes me feel charmed and lucky...

Transformational.

To give you an idea about the movies I avoid - Fantastic Four, Alien Vs. Predator, Godzilla...get the picture? "Comicky" - mechanical creatures, cheap effects... It doesn't really give me a feeling of reality. I know it is not real - but atleast I should feel a part of the set up. So when I saw the trailer of Transformers - I thought - "Ok here we go again." I used to own a couple of "Transformer" toys...and I remember they weren't really my favorite. The whole idea of vehicle turning into robots somehow struck as ridiculous to me. So I was pretty confident Rs.200 of multiplex-money would not be spent on this latest effects fest. Until I saw the director's name. Michael Bay has managed to pull me into theaters to see movies I wouldn't normally see - time and again - without failing. He has no pretensions...his movies are shamefully escapist (Armageddon! Bad Boys!) and the Special Effects are always years ahead of their time... Armageddon looks gimicky now...but back then it was pretty cool... Another fact that intrigued me was that Herr Spielberg himself had given his blessings to the project...which meant it was definitely gonna be deeper than Armageddon...

So I bit the bullet and decided to head out to the nearest multiplex in the pouring Mumbai rains. The movie begins with an Army base in Qatar being destroyed by a weird Cargo-Helicopter which transforms into a Robot...there are no known survivors...and it looks like the "thing" was after classified US data. Cut to normal teen Shia LaBeouf (Disturbia) negotiating which first car to buy - with his father. Of course he settles on a car that appears at Bernie Mac's (Mr.3000) shady car dealership out of nowhere...a old rusty Chevy Camaro. Sure enough the car starts acting funny... and even helps him impress the hottest girl in college - the extremely good-looking Megan Fox. (She has to be the hottest newcomer in hollywood today...). The car is actually "Bumblebee" - one of an alien race of "Machine People" who have come to earth to find a potent cube - their source of deadly power, which was being sought by the bad guys lead by the evil Megatron. The "Recepticons" - or the good guys are lead by Optimus Prime. Now who are all these guys? They are robots who have a "vehicle" avatar. For example Megatron transforms into a supersonic jet and Optimus Prime's avatar was a cool red and blue shiny truck. Hence the name Transformers.

Sounds silly so far?

I thought so too... until I saw them transforming. I haven't seen special effects so cool since Jurassic Park. Michael Bay has directed a movie which doesn't let up for a second. And best of all he manages to inflect enough emotion in what could have become a very "mechanical movie". Shia Labeouf holds the key to the cube in an old artefact that was handed down to him by his explorer Great Grandfather...and soon becomes the Recepticons' best friend and helps them overcome the bad guys...ably helped by Ms.Fox and an extremely nimble and resourceful secretary of defense (Jon Voight). The script is water-tight...not a frame or word is wasted... every moment is exhilarating and Shia's parents are "laugh-out-loud" funny... But the honors go to the action sequences which are equisitely staged the special effects which make a seemingly ridiculous concept extremely believable. Sure enough teenagers will LOVE the movie...but Michael Bay has created a movie which transcends the age barrier...by creating a bunch of transforming robots into "real" lovable people.

Brilliant. I am gonna introduce a new concept here called the "Market Value" of the movie - which is basically how much would I be willing to pay for the movie. This one is a Rs.500.

Don't miss this one.

Guess who?

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Harry Potter and the Axis of Evil

My first in the series of suggested outlines for Harry Potter sequels.

Harry is now a 36 year old family man - living in Modern london. He has been hired by the British Government as a "Consultant" - helping the muggle world deal with magical threats. On Christmas, there is a terror strike on London - with the London Eye as the target. Lots of innocent lives are lost - and MI6 cannot for the life of them ascertain the MO of the attack. No known explosive substances are found in the vicinity - it is as if someone had "blown" the huge structure down. Harry is called in - and immediately suspects magical forces at work. As he lunges into the investigation - he uncovers an underground magical movement with it's origins in deserts of Persia. Soon - he starts receiving threats from unknown sources asking him to back off. Albus Severus - Harry's second son disappears from Hogwarts the same day Harry's scar starts to hurt again. A nationwide hunt lead by Harry and helped by his friends Hermione and Ron is launched - and along the way they come across clues which surprisingly lead to suggest Voldemort's return. Has Albus been kidnapped by the Aftakhoon - the leader of the evil Persial army? Has Aftakhoon joined forces with Al Qaeda - and is preparing to launch an attack on the Western world like they have never seen before? Is he being aided by Voldemort who has yet again survived death? Can Harry and his friends save the world from the new wave of terrorism - now aided by ancient magic, far more powerful than anything that they have ever encountered? Find out in the exciting 8th installment of the series - Harry Potter and The Axis of Evil.

Maybe I gotta change the name. ;) Comments please.